I’m still riding the high of attending an empowering Pilates business retreat, and have to share how important it is to make yourself a priority. This is the first time I’ve gone to this retreat, though I know many of the women from my business coaching group, and working with them is the best decision I’ve ever made for my business and myself. Do you know the saying, “you don’t know what you don’t know”? Well, I didn’t know what I was missing until I started consciously taking care of myself and stretching and growing. I needed more. We all do! This retreat was a great reminder of that for me.
We All Lose Ourselves
There are so many phases of life or reasons that we lose sight of who we are and what we want out of life. The pandemic is the perfect example. We had no choice but to stay home for an extended period of time. We had tons of time on our hands while trying to mentally process a worldwide crisis. One one hand, it was an opportunity to work on home projects or bake sourdough bread; but on the other, life was hard and binge watching Netflix was a great escape.
Parents, and women especially, often find themselves set adrift after having children. You have a little person who needs you for every little thing, so you set yourself aside while you get to know them and how to set boundaries. Asking for help from friends or family isn’t always an option, and being the primary caregiver 24/7 is a challenge. When my first daughter was only five months old, my parents moved away. My sisters and Craig’s sister worked full time, and his mom was in a care facility. I had a few friends to call on, but felt that my children were my responsibility. I’m so grateful for my job at the gym, because teaching aerobics and spin classes allowed me to have a “me” break each day.
Now that my children are older, I’m seeing friends who have taken on a new caregiving role taking care of aging parents. Again, they are setting themselves aside to take on extra responsibilities. Caring for kids or parents is a challenge, but ideally you can still carve out a little space for yourself and your dreams, too.
I was chatting with a client this morning who is in her 70’s, and she told me that she lost herself when her daughter was born and still doesn’t know who she really is. That’s over 40 years of living for others, and not herself. My heart felt so broken for her. But as she left the studio she said, “I always feel happy after I’ve been here!” Cue the tears!
There is a Solution
When you live life in reactive mode, you will never have time for yourself. If you live for your children, or your job, or simply putting out every fire that comes along, how can you make yourself a priority? All of those little things add up and push out your dreams and desires.
Read More: Make Time for Yourself
The retreat I attended reminded me of the importance of being intentional with my time. Going with the flow won’t work if I want to accomplish new things, make time for my hobbies, and just relax. Learning to make yourself a priority takes practice, but the more you get used to it, the easier it will be to adjust when life throws you a curveball.
If you’re struggling with making time for yourself, watch this video about Rocks, Pebbles, and Sand. Essentially, if you schedule your time in the right way, you can fit in everything you need to do and want to do. Taking care of yourself will help you be a better parent, partner, friend, business owner, or employee… and you’ll be less stressed and happier, too!