Do you ever catch yourself saying “I am just____”? I know that I’ve said some of the following about myself: I’m just a mom, just a fitness teacher, and just a runner (not a marathoner). I’ve thought about this before, but it hit me (again) yesterday after watching a webinar about imposter syndrome. Why do we feel the need to downplay our choices and achievements?
I talk about running all the time, do it as a hobby, volunteer for marathon run clinics, and have run three marathons and many half marathons… yet I never called myself a marathoner. I recall seeing a friend’s social media post about how he is a marathoner and triathlete. In my head, I actually said “he sure is, but I’m not.”
Why was I so hard on myself, but acknowledged another friend’s achievement of becoming a “marathoner” after their first race? Is it because I hadn’t run as fast as I wanted? Or I didn’t qualify for the Boston Marathon? Or because I paced a friend in one race? I am not a showy person and don’t need or want to brag about my pace or the runs I’ve done. But I do deserve to feel proud of my accomplishments and the title of marathoner, plain and simple.
You deserve to be more than “just”, too.
There is a lot of “I’m just” in the fitness industry, and I’ve heard myself say that I’m “just” a fitness instructor as if it’s a second-class job. Many people start teaching fitness as a hobby or part-time job, myself included. Unfortunately, in the beginning I heard a lot of people say things like “you can’t make a living in fitness,” or “it doesn’t pay well.” It always bugged me (and still does), because there are lots of successful fitness professionals out there. Still, hearing those comments seeped into my subconscious, and I’ve found myself self-sabotaging along the way. I’d get all amped up to build and grow my business, and then question if I was good or ready enough, or compare myself to those ahead of me.
Where you are right now is enough.
When my daughters were young, my husband and I decided that I would mostly stay home with them. I wanted to stay home, and I loved having the time to do themed birthday parties, take naps, go to the park, bake, and sew costumes for the girls. I was able to be home with them if they were sick or needed me. Still, that voice crept in telling me that I should be doing more. I’d listen to my working-mom friends talk, and I’d think I wasn’t doing enough, that I was “just” a mom. Of course this is silly! Raising three little girls is no easy task and it’s one of the most important jobs I’ve had.
So today, I want to remind you (and myself) that you are important and what you do matters. You are enough.
I am a mom.
I am a business owner, Pilates teacher, and personal trainer.
I am a marathoner.
And the list goes on.
So why do we hold ourselves back?
Whether you call it imposter syndrome or insecurity, everyone deals with it sometimes. It never occurred to me that those I saw as confident and successful could ever feel that way, but they do. The difference is that they don’t let those mean voices in their heads hold them back.
Imposter Syndrome Types
- The Super Hero. They feel like they need to keep proving themselves.
- The Natural Genius. Everything comes easy for them, but when something doesn’t they feel like they have failed.
- The Expert. They never feel like they have enough knowledge. They keep taking this training and that training to have all of the knowledge but it is never-ending.
- The Perfectionist. They are never happy with their work and fixate on the flaws.
- The Soloist. They prefer to work alone and won’t ask for help for fear of appearing weak or incompetent.
I think I’ve fallen into all of these categories at one time or another, though I’m proud to say that #3 rarely sneaks up on me anymore. I’ve become a lot more selective about the training I do these days. I’m also trying to ask for more help, and it’s been great! Just being aware of the ways we hold ourselves back can be powerful. You can catch yourself in the patterns, self-correct, or reach out to someone to flip your thoughts.
None of us are “just” anything, and I want you to know that “you are.” You are __________.” It’s up to you to fill in that blank with any word you want: your job, hobby, relationship to others, or feeling.