How I Survived a Traumatic Year

Wow. This has been a YEAR. A year that has changed myself and my family forever. A year of both amazing, wonderful moments, and some that I could never have imagined. I have chosen to not call these moments negative or bad, even though they caused pain, heartache, anxiety, and tears.

Earlier this year, my daughters witnessed a traumatic incident in our neighbourhood. While I was not there when it happened, I was arrived moments later to see and experience the aftermath. Only three months later, I lost one of my friends and longest-term clients in, yet again, a traumatic way.

Through these times, I was living in a fog, and was more stressed than I actually was aware of. There were sleepless nights, poor eating, many missed workouts, weight gain, worry about my daughters’ well being, extra appointments, and concern for others also affected by these events. Yet here I am, somehow coming out the other side. And I wonder: how did I get through it all? 

How I Survived a Traumatic Year

1. I learned to prioritize my time. With the support of my husband, I worked on making the most important people in my life a priority again. While I feel that I have always been a good mom, partner, and parent, I was giving too much of myself to others (and to some who may not have deserved it). I was also putting my own needs too far down the list. I learned to make more time for me and those I love.  
2. I made peace with not showing up. This was a tough thing for me, because when I commit to something, I commit. But when faced with the upheaval of the past year, I had to cancel some meetings and appointments. I hated doing this, but had to make peace with my choices, because I could NOT keep going at the pace I was.
3. I found deeper gratitude. I am ever so thankful to all of the clients, friends, and family members who have been understanding and helpful as I worked through this tough year.   Even strangers and mere acquaintances saw the struggle, and reached out. I have found a deeper appreciation for these amazing people, the things I have, my life experiences, and the lessons arising from these traumas. 
4. I kept working out. Fitness is an important pillar in my life; and during this year, it was more important than ever. Yes, I had to skip workouts, sometimes by necessity and sometimes by choice. But all in all, I stayed pretty consistent in my routine. That said, the workouts weren’t all that great. A lot of the time, it was going through the motions, but it was enough to feel like I had done something that day. Working out did help me to sleep better and burn some calories (because I was definitely not eating as well as I normally do).  
5. I learned to trust my intuition. Almost everyone in my life was understanding, kind and caring however there was one who was not. It was eye-opening for sure. It took a trauma for me to wake up to all the signs I had been receiving about this relationship for months. While this initially added another stress that I did not need, letting go of the relationship took a huge weight off of my shoulders. Plus, I felt empowered that I could make a choice about this stressful situation, unlike the stress that was caused by unforeseen circumstances. This was a wake up call to trust my gut feelings. 
6. I have been trying new things. Making changes and trying new things has added some “freshness” to my life. Now that I am ramping up my fitness and work routines again, I have started attending classes at a new gym, and took some workshops by a presenter I haven’t seen before. I have kept some of the old while adding some new. It feels great to learn new things, be challenged, and meet new people. 

A few weeks ago, I was in spin class and had this sudden awareness of how strong I was feeling again. It made me realize how stressed I had actually been the past year, and that I had been “just getting by”. It is great to feel like I am in my own body again. 

I’m looking forward to what the New Year will bring. And I am hopeful.