Fitness Shouldn’t Make You Feel Bad

This morning, I went for a run with my friend, who is just as dedicated to fitness as I am. We got to talking about the different fitness competitions that we had each trained for in the past. Now, even during Covid19 and staying home, we work out to feel good. During our younger “competition days,” however, we may have looked amazing, but far too often, we felt terrible. We both agreed that we are happier now that we exercise to feel healthy and strong, rather than when we worked out to look a certain way, or win a competition. 

The Unhealthy Side of Fitness

Working out in a gym started for me when I was eighteen years old.  I’ll be super honest, it started out because I wanted to look good, be skinny, toned, ripped, whatever you want to call it.  I loved the cardio rush! Aerobics was my first fitness-love, and I participated in an aerobics competition with my best friend when I was only nineteen. 

I was in the gym sometimes twice a day so we could rehearse our routine, plus do the strength and cardio work that was prescribed by our trainer. Even though I was “training,” I probably ate more treats than I was supposed to. Being young and tiny to begin with I didn’t worry too much. But my teammate would call me, saying things like, “I had a bite of a cookie. I’ve been so bad!”

A good fifteen years later, she revealed to me that after the competition, she developed an eating disorder. I had suspected something was wrong, but she hid it well and I assumed she overcame it. For her, the pressure to look and perform a certain way turned into something very serious. 

When “Fitness” Stops Being About Feeling Good

My current best-fitness-buddy shared how she participated in a fitness competition in her 20’s. It was similar to a body-building or bikini-fitness competition, and it included a fitness performance. For the competition, she was down to 129lbs with extremely low body fat, no period, and little energy. It was all about physique, and not at all about health. 

Recently, someone suggested to her that she get down to that weight again. Her response? “Hell no!” She knows that being a “ripped size zero” meant making unhealthy choices and feeling like garbage. Looking good is only one part of true fitness. By making healthy choices and doing a balanced workout, you can both look and feel good. 

Crossing My Own Boundaries

Part of what I love about exercising is the challenge. For me, setting goals, making a plan, and working to hit a new milestone is a huge rush. I think a lot of athletes are the same, and is why there are so many challenges, contests, and races out there. Each one presents new obstacles, and is a new opportunity to push ourselves. The hard part is not pushing ourselves too far.

In 2014, I took part in a challenge/contest at a gym. I started out very fit, with a good healthy body fat percentage. It was a tough challenge with complicated eating. I had to track my macros, and record everything on an app, plus in a journal. 

Complex carbs were very restricted, though we had a cheat day once a week. Do you know what my cheat was? A whole loaf of cranberry sourdough bread. It was amazing. Even though my cheat was supposed to be a slice or two, I would polish the whole loaf off on my own. Restrict, restrict, binge? Not the most healthy practice. 

During the challenge, I was also training for a marathon. I was so tired. And crabby. I had almost no energy for everyday tasks. My family was asking me daily when the challenge would be over. No one was happy, and it wasn’t healthy. In the end, I lost 4.4lbs of body fat, and gained .4 lbs of muscle. Once I went back to my regular training I gained some weight and fat back, hovering back around my starting weight. I felt so much better. 

I probably took too much on with the gym’s challenge while training for a marathon. And looking back, I was not listening to my body. I was exhausted and had no energy to try and achieve the goals I was setting myself. That’s the complete opposite of the feeling I wanted. 

Finding My Balance

After the challenge, I realized that running, working out, and Pilates are what I love; not pushing myself into unhappiness as I strive to hit a new goal. Pilates helped me discover how important it is to stay strong and to be aware of my body’s movement.

I want to be strong so that I can keep up with what I am passionate about: running, riding, lifting, Pilates, family, working in the yard, and so much more. Being aware of how I move helps me avoid injury, and to listen to what my body is saying. 

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again (and again and again). Looking good is a bonus. Feeling good and strong is what fitness should be all about!